Yvette's Inner Geek Blog

I made them myself, can I have a cookie now?

Creating those little cards was a lot more work than I expected. Seriously, I am a writer who sometimes designs on a computer but rarely draws anything worth showing to anyone with decent eyesight. But I finally got them close to what I was envisioning, and that made the effort worthwhile. I can’t wait to hand them to people at Comic Con next week!

Here’s how I made the design:

1. Thought about what kind of business card would work well, and came up with the idea for a comic-style card.
2. Started drawing caricatures of myself. Some were really, really, horrible. I had to look up how to draw a female body because I wasn’t getting it right.
3. Finally figured out that I should draw the caricature elements separately, scan them, and then piece them together in Adobe Illustrator (CS1 that I got in my last year of college but never really learned how to use).
4. Hit the jackpot with Blambot.com, where I found some awesome free comic fonts (for Mac and PC) and pre-made dialogue balloons in .eps format. Perfect!
5. Swore a lot as I learned how to alter the Illustrator files to get the dialogue balloons in the size and shape I wanted.
6. Added the text (Blambot’s Anime Ace 2.0) and obsessed a little over the exact wording.
7. Tweaked and tweaked until Illustrator and Photoshop both worked together with me enough to get the final result you see above.

It’s not perfect, but I won’t be embarrassed to hand out that design. And there is probably a better way to do something like that… so if you have any suggestions for next time, please leave a comment. I’m not under any delusions that I would be able to illustrate my own graphic novel, but it would be nice to learn a little more about art ‘n stuff. I would like to write one someday (soon, maybe, with all this Comic Con inspiration).

Next on the agenda before Comic Con: packing and maybe finally getting around to updating my website?

I felt a little like the witch in “Hansel and Gretel” watching my cat crawl into our stock pot to lick out bits of rice and chicken curry flavor. Except I had no intention of really cookiing her – she’s still far too skinny…

Don’t worry, I’ve since sterilized the pot so that I can use it to boil fresh corn from the local stands! And for Cincinnati Chili when the weather cools down. Isis was very pleased after eating a little human food.

Phoebe has now officially been with us for over a year, and still amuses and annoys us daily. She loves to play with fake mice and to tear off their tails, and bites their faces until the inside (probably toxic) filler is exposed and we have to throw them away. She hides them all over the place and will carry on with a pathetic, in-distress meowing until we toss one for her to chase. Also, in a previous life, she was a meerkat.

She’s also just tall enough to put her soft, adorable little declawed paws on the dining room table while standing on the floor. She did that for the first time when we had a confiscated mouse (with its neck cracked open) sitting on a napkin in the middle of the table. She was trying so hard to get it wihout actually getting on the table, since she knows that she’ll be swiftly swept off or sprayed with a water bottle, that we threw it away before taking a photo of the nearly deapitated orange mouse. Maybe we should start saving them in a jar (hidden in a cabinet, of course) to use for fun around Halloween…

I’m just going to put it out there: This is pretty much going to be a Comic Con Blog for the next couple weeks.

The past couple days I have been reading every little bit of information available on Comic Con. They just posted the programming for panels, the independent film festival, autographs, etc. My itinerary is already looking very full and I have no idea how I’m going to be in 4 places at the same time. Let me know if you can get me the time travel hourglass that Dumbledore gave to Hermione.

I’ve already learned a lot about the comics industry and all things related just by reading through the details. My thanks goes out to the dedicated copywriters who managed to squeak some humor into a few of the descriptions. Now that my eyes are bleeding from computer monitor/information overload, I’ll have to wait until I heal a little before I can go back to see which panels won’t make the first cut.

But I made my first list without taking into consideration that there are films running throughout the day at the same time as the panels! And I know I’m going to waste a good amount of time waiting in lines for the panels that I really want to see. WTF am I going to do, seriously? Will I even have time to visit the convention floor to see all the booths, Artists’ Alley, and to buy some totally awesome crap with money that I really shouldn’t be spending? Will 4 days be enough time for me? Will Ben go completely out of his mind at any point during our vacation that he doesn’t view as a vacation but merely “traveling with my wife to appease her inexplicable, obsessive fangirl needs (and maybe to meet Simon Pegg)?”

All this and more to come. Anybody else as excited as me about anything right now?

Not only did Ben use trigonometry last week, he built some damn sturdy shelves for our storage room. My photos, let me show you them.

You can see the lines from where the old, rotting shelves used to be glued, and where they interrupted the drywall and were subsequently torn out. Note the sawdust on the floor: real men use miter saws at the project site.

Another close-up of the fancy angled support beam (which was only necessary on one of the shelves because the wood warped a little). The cement floor was uneven and required the use of shims to even it out. I would have just stuck some folded paper towels or something under the wobbly corners, but that’s why I leave the engineering tasks to Ben.

Here you can see Ben sliding on the painted plywood shelves (with sanded fronts so that certain accident-prone wives get fewer cuts and splinters). The spiffy design of the shelf makes use of the rafters for no-tipping support, but these shelves are free-standing otherwise. The middle shelves are different heights to accommodate the different boxes and containers we plant to keep there.

The tools of the trade (miter saw and safety goggles not shown). Hey… is that a new staple gun, Ben? And a Home Depot receipt? The answer is yes, and I got to play with the staple gun. It was more fun to use than I expected, and all I did was shoot up some extra bits of wood.

Nice job, Ben! Now how about all the other stuff on your Honey-Do list, hmm? 

I’m going to take a little break from geeky topics to mention something that really pissed me off today when I read it in the local newspaper. It’s an ordinance that is now in the works for in several cities across Utah.

First of all, I’m not a smoker and I abhor secondhand smoke. I used to work at the front desk of a hotel and was forced to inhale smoke drafting in my direction from the hotel restaurant, so I was happy when indoor smoking bans started popping up across the country.

BUT.

PUBLIC NOTICE

The Springville City Council hereby gives Public Notice to the citizens of Springville of the adoption of an ordinance at their regularly scheduled meeting held July 1, 2008. This is: Ordinance #17-2008 amending ¬ß8-4-112 of the Municipal Code to prohibit smoking in public parks, playground areas, recreational areas, cemeteries, and near mass gatherings. The complete text of this ordinance is available in the City Recorder’s Office at 50 South Main Street during regular business hours, or by calling (801) 489-2700.

To ban smoking outdoors in a public park? In my opinion, that’s going too far in violation of the basic rights of an individual. Today’s local editorial column declares that it’s not a religious or moral issue; it’s an issue of public health.  I call bullshit! The harm of secondhand smoke is compounded in an enclosed environment like a restaurant, but in my experience, I’ve rarely had to take more than a couple steps away from a person smoking to be relieved of the smoky air in an outdoor setting.

This ban was made primarily for the people who declare “I shouldn’t be forced to have to inhale secondhand smoke on public property because it can cause lung cancer.”

In that case, here are more declarations of behalf of people with their own just causes, and I expect the city council to listen up and ban accordingly.

• I shouldn’t be forced to smell other people’s burning meat on grills in public parks, playground areas, recreational areas, cemeteries, and near mass gatherings. [The smell of meat can sicken vegetarians]
• I shouldn’t be forced to taste bug spray that other people release into the air in public parks, playground areas, recreational areas, cemeteries, and near mass gatherings. [Deet causes neurological damage]
• I shouldn’t be forced to look at other people’s hairy chests in public parks, playground areas, recreational areas, cemeteries, and near mass gatherings. [Hairy chests are just gross]
• I shouldn’t be forced to hear children laughing in public parks, playground areas, recreational areas, cemeteries, and near mass gatherings. [It causes depression in infertile people]
• I shouldn’t be forced to overhear religious prayer in public parks, playground areas, recreational areas, cemeteries, and near mass gatherings. [Expression of religion doesn't belong in public places]

These declarations all make perfect sense to certain groups of people. Which ones do you think are silly? Which ones do you think should be seriously considered? Anything that anyone does can (and probably is) considered offensive by someone else. The great thing about the United States is that citizens are granted (historically, anyway) civil liberties like Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Expression, which limit the government’s ability to abuse its power and interfere with the lives of its citizens.

In general, Utah has a serious issue with separating church and state.  This stems largely from the fact that a majority of the population is the same faith, including political leaders, and people of the LDS (Mormon) faith are accustomed to obeying rules and strictly adhering guidelines set forth by the church leaders even when they directly oppose personal choice.  It is generally not acceptable among Mormons to smoke or drink, for example.

So it’s not really surprising to me that outdoor public smoking bans would pass legislation in my adopted home state. However, I am a nonsmoker who is absolutely opposed to it.

How much longer until I will be fined by the city for swearing in a public park?

Even though I don’t think my opinion would carry much weight in the local political arena, I think I’ll start working on a petition to ban hairy chests just to see how far it would go.

My enginerd husband has now finished buiding (from scratch) and assembling some sturdy shelves for our storage room. The frames are made of 2x4s (FYI: they are actually 1.5″x3.5″) and the 2′x4′ shelves are cut, sanded, and painted plywood. It’s all screwed together and even tucked behind the exposed rafters to prevent tipping. He’s so handy! (Sometimes I even the domestic chore score by heating up dinner in the microwave.)

One of the frames warped a little, which prevented the plywood shelves from properly sliding into place. I didn’t know anything about this issue until he asked for my help. When I entered the storage room, he handed me the rubber mallet and crawled into the frame. First I thought he had been huffing something out in the garage, since hammering anything is always his Duty As A Man, but then he told me what was going on.

He was going to use his Man Strength to straighten out the frame from the inside while I hammered a cross-beam into place that would keep it straight. Oh, hey! I suddenly noticed that there was a cross-beam on the bottom of the frame.

So he did his job, and I enjoyed wielding the mallet for a few satisfyingly effective whacks. As he crawled out of the frame, I marveled at his ingenuity because I probably would have tried to shove the shelves in and broken something and then gone out to purchase a prefabricated shelf. The corners were quite fancy, and by that I mean not cut at right angles.

Ben smiled, quite pleased with himself, and said, “I used trigonometry!”

What a nerd, right? And so adorable. I think I’ll keep him (especially now that there’s more space in the storage room).

(The awesome stains on the cement floor are courtesy of the previous homeowners. Ben scrubbed the area clean before setting up the shelves, but we didn’t think it was worth the extra hassle or expense to try to remove the stains or cover them up with paint.)

I can now check these items off my Comic Con to-acquire list:

• 4-day Comic Con pass for me
• Thursday and Friday Comic Con pass for Ben
• Hotel reservation
• Airline tickets

The only thing left to acquire:

• More money (so that we can eat food, drink beer, and buy things while we’re there)

There’s still a lot of planning that needs to happen in the next couple weeks before our plane leaves at an ugly-ass early hour on Wednesday, July 23. If you’re lucky, you’ll get to read all about the glorious details. (Do I bring my favorite Teva sandals or sneakers? Or both? How can I maximize space for swag in my suitcase and still bring all the clothes that I need?)

I will definitely be bringing along my camera, cell phone, old laptop with wireless card, mini notebook, and pen. Which means that while I am splattering my geek saliva all over everything at the con like a Saint Bernard, I will also be taking copious notes, snapping photos like a madwoman, updating my Twitter feed via cell phone, and hopefully not being too exhausted to write a little about each day on this blog and maybe post some photos.

I did a little research and just discovered that the DC Comics talent search, which includes a free seminar and portfolio review, is just for aspiring artists. Writers are left with the old-fashioned way to break into comics: by hobnobbing with any editor they can corner at a booth and forcing sample writing and business cards down their throats.  Maybe I’ll be nice and round the corners of my business cards.

Have you seen these pictures of eleven of the coolest geeked-out cars ever made? They include:

1. Classic Battlestar Galactica Viper
2. VW Microbus Ball (does is actually work? Even if not, I think it’s hella awesome in terms of art)
3. Circuitboard-covered Sedan (Ben has an aging Saturn and enough crappy old circuit boards laying around to actually make this one)
4. Pyramid Car (doesn’t look particularly aerodynamic)
5. Pac-Man Race Car (the driver sits inside Pac-Man’s head! Don’t get me started on the woman in a bathing suit and heels standing next to the car in this photo)
6. Subaru Outback Ecto-1 (ZOMG! All-wheel drive Ghostbusters awesomeness! This would be the only reason for me to ever get a white car.)
7. Multi-colored 5 1/4-inch Floppy Disk-covered Honda Civic
8. USS Enterprise NCC-1701.7 Shuttlecar
9. Star Wars Landspeeder (can’t go back and erase the wheel shadow on this one, George)
   
10. Jawa Sandcrawler (Um, I don’t think this one’s even close to scale…)
11. X-Wing car (with R2-D2 in the back)

What I really want to see now is a track race with the Pac-Man car and four Ghost race cars chasing him… until the Pac-Man car catches the power pellet that’s speeding around in front of him (like the bunny in a greyhound coursing).

Then Pac-Man would spin around to chase Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde for a set period of time and when he overtakes one, the Ghost car would have to do a Drive of Shame back to its pit.

Fans would be outfitted with paint guns and instructed to colorize the overtaken Ghost car, which would then be washed off in the pit and resurrected into the race.

There would not be a “first to cross the finish line” goal. Scoring would consist of points for overtakes, drafting, driving style, and zealotry of paint gun-wielding fans. At the racetrack entrance, fans would have to declare whether they want to be Pac-Heads or Ghost-Heads for the day and sit in the appropriate stands.

To round out the racing teams, Pac-Heads would also be entitled to support race cars in the likeness of Ms. Pac-Man and characters from the early 1980s Hanna-Barbera cartoon series: Chomp-Chomp the dog and Sour Puss the cat. Don’t forget about Baby-Pac! He would be the adorable team mascot. On the Ghost side, the mascot would be the evil Mezmeron, leader of the ghosts from the cartoon series.

The only thing that would make this racing scenario cooler is if it were possible to screw with physics in some science-y way so that the race cars could drive off the East end of the track and instantly reappear on the West end (and vice-versa). And then maybe have a grand finale demolition derby. Yeah, I think that would score some serious green and some hardcore fandom.

Any other ideas to make this live-action Geek Race a valid sales pitch?

I won an eBay auction for a 4-day pass to the San Diego Comic Con!

It wasn’t a stellar deal compared to the face value, but reasonable compared to what some people are currently willing to pay the evil scalpers. Oh, I’m sorry, I meant to call them “people who are unfortunately unable to attend the event due to a wedding/flaky friend/business trip.”

Now I’ve paid my money and I am waiting quite anxiously to hear back from the seller, who has to contact Comic Con to transfer the registration. I don’t think that I can handle another post-elation-let-down, so I hope that all goes smoothly and I don’t have to track down a dishonest eBay seller and unleash the Brute Squad upon him/her.  Not that I’m preparing myself for the worst or anything.

It looks like Ben and I will be leaving on Wednesday, but the return date is still a tiny bit up in the air. Do we stay an extra day (with added hotel expense) to go to Sea World? If the Padres were in town over the weekend, we would definitely go to a baseball game… but they won’t play a home game until the Tuesday after the con.  And spending six nights in San Diego is not an option for us this time around.

Sigh. When you have the time to do the things you want to do, you rarely have the money. When you’re making  money, you rarely have time to do the things you want to do.

And sometimes, when you’re making money, you preorder books on Amazon that finally ship out (and are charged to your credit card) when you’re laid off. But what’s thirty bucks when it comes to graphic novel deliciousness?

These are my favorite comics that I have been reading as they come out in graphic novel form. I am a sucker for almost any re-imagining of fairy tales and folklore, even if the story ends up not being as well-written as I’d hoped it would be (not the case for “Fables”). And what’s not to love about the post-apocolyptic scenario of one man left in the world? Whose name is Yorick? I’m also a sucker for characters whose names start with the letter Y. (Except for the reference to prostitutes named Yvette and Yvonne in the musical “Miss Saigon.” My high school theater friends got a good snicker out of that back in the day.)

I LOVE that the titles of Fables and (spin-off series) Jack of Fables are yin-yang: “The Good Prince” and “The Bad Prince,” respectively. I can’t wait to find out if there’s a reason for that in the storyline.

Oh hey, comics talk got my mind off Comic Con for a minute! Oh. But now I’m totally geeking out about it again because I remembered that “Fables” writer Bill Willingham will be one of the Special Guests! Officially on my list of things to do in the remaining 17 days until Comic Con: create three great questions that I would ask Mr. Willingham if I have the opportunity to meet him there. Because the last thing I want to do is to ask for his autograph and just stand there drooling geek-froth on him while he politely avoids eye contact.

One more thing before I end this undeniably pathetic written record of how much I need to get a life. I just found Bill Willingham’s website where he lists pieces of original artwork from his comics collection. Nothing there that I need to have, but it just reminded me of how quickly the San Diego trip could become a spendy adventure in Original Art Acquisition with a spin-off jaunt into Watching Ben Blow a Fuse as I try to convince him not to pass up the opportunity to purchase <one-of-a-kind-thing>.  Also officially on my list of things to do in the remaining 17 days until Comic Con: create a map of all microbreweries in San Diego for husband-bribery purposes.

During the writer’s strike, Joss Whedon was busy creating a 40-minute direct-to-interwebz-and-then-to-DVD musical called “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog,” starring Neil Patrick Harris as a “low-rent supervillain” and Nathan Fillion as the hero.

It will air in three parts on drhorrible.com that are FREE TO WATCH between July 15th and July 20th at midnight (what time zone, Joss?). Here’s the trailer:

AND, and, and. You know how I’m all excited about going to Comic Con? Well Joss added to my excitement by writing this in his Dr. Horrible Master Plan:

We intend to make it available for download soon after it’s published. This would be for a nominal fee, which we’re hoping people will embrace instead of getting all piratey. We have big dreams, people, and one of them is paying our crew.

And somewhat later, we will put the complete short epic out on DVD – with the finest and bravest extras in all the land. We’ll go into greater detail about that at Comiccon, but we’re changing the face of Show Friendliness a second time with that crazy DVD.

Did you see that I placed the most important part of that statement in bold? I have no idea if I’ll be able to score entrance to that panel, but this is just a reminder to everyone that AWESOME THINGS WILL HAPPEN AT COMIC CON and I AM EXTREMELY EXCITED OMG YOU DON’T EVEN REALIZE.

I am foaming at the mouth with geek slobber. Note to self: have an absorbent cloth available at all times while in the convention hall.

Thanks to Sam in Australia for sending me the Dr. Horrible details.