www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlBTcMpVfco

However, if I decided to make one of these, I would probably design the thing to size with Adobe InDesign and have a 2′ x 6′ print made on lacquer-safe poster paper. That way, if I screwed up in some way (which I probably would), I could easily have the thing reprinted and start over. Also: I wouldn’t have to spend 100 hours doing detailed paper cutting.

After I finish a pattern, the addiction makes itself clear. I can’t wait to start another.

It’s to the point, though, that I have about a dozen finished or nearly finished patterns laying around unframed. It’s really sad, and my friends are mad at me for not having any hanging on the walls yet. Well, that leads me to this first design.

Decisions are hard, yo!

My husband and I are both Libras. This is pretty much our mantra. In fact, I had the idea to use a strand of gold for one column in the uppercase D, but I still haven’t decided if I’m going to keep it that way… so the needle with a bit of gold thread is still there as a reminder to make a damn decision already.

The Libra pattern is from “Cross Stitch Borders and Motifs” by Jana Hauschild LIndberg, as are the letters. I just put the sentiment together.

This next “Irony is Not Dead” piece is actually the first cross stitch I ever attempted. The pattern is from Julie Jackson’s Subversive Cross Stitch book which, along with my friend Marie’s own brand of subversive embroidery, was responsible for this crafty addiction.

Instead of using the recommended 14-count Aida fabric, which I’ve used for almost everything since then, I used a 28-count linen that I’d purchased before I read the book. Along with a very pointy needle, that made for an interesting first cross stitch experience.

(I still prick myself with the blunt embroidery needle I use now, but it’s not as gory or painful. Impossible and unintentional self-injury is just a fact of life for me.)

Okay, that’s all I’m going to share today… next time I’ll have some geekier needlecraft works of art to share with you. Because if I can’t put the real ones up on a wall, at least I should share them online. Way more people will enjoy them that way!

The only thing that could make it better is if it were stitched from hobbit hairs that had been gently caressed by Wil Wheaton.

I award 1 point for LEGO, 1 point for clever tech specs, and 1 point for geek craft. 3 points of awesomeness for Cross-stitch ninja, who gets a bonus kajillion points because of the other cool stuff that she has on her Flickr photostream. True, it’s not all cross-stitch. But the fact that she stitched the entire second world map from Super Mario Bros 3 (finished size is 59 x 18 cm, which I think is about the size of a football field! Okay, not really, but it’s still HUGE for a cross-stitch) gives her kudos of the highest regard in my book.

Cross-stitch ninja, if you’re out there, will you be my friend? Because I kind of have a giant crafter crush on you. I’ll do my best to not make it awkward.

Exhibit A, from Steotch (rhymes with Beyotch):

I’m not a church-y person, but neither was my grandfather who introduced me to this wise proverb. So double the traditional wisdom with nostalgia, then add the awesome juxtaposition* of Jabba the Hut and slave Leia.

POW!

This framed cross stitch is available through Steotch’s Etsy store. It’s easy to balk at the $299.00 price tag, but I know how much work goes into a piece like this. If cross-stitchers could charge what auto mechanics charge for hourly labor, this piece would easily be over $1,000. And apparently the artist has been using cross stitch as a distraction from her battle with cancer. So, if you can afford it, I think this would make a lovely addition to your home.

I don’t see that the pattern itself is for sale, which would be a more affordable option for the poor yet ambitious, so maybe I’ll contact the artist about that.

This is my second favorite from Steotch’s selection:

(Thanks to my old high school friend, Mike Fisher, for tipping me off to the Slave to Serenity cross stitch piece.)

*A degree in English provides a person with the lifelong ability to use words like “juxtaposition” in a non-academic setting. Also, a nice piece of paper to display on the window of the old van in which the graduate likely lives.

Anyway. I have these fantasies of knitting some fabulous items for fashion, warmth, and expression of geekiness. Of course they only take an hour or so in my fantasies and turn out perfectly and I’m even sipping on margaritas while happily clicking my needles together and there’s nary a knot or dropped stitch.

Also, Matt Damon is doing shirtless sit-ups in my living room while Mike Rowe shovels something and sings to me.

….Um. What were we talking about? OH YEAH. Knitting.

At this point, I’m a little bit of an obsessive pattern saver. I know what I want to knit—I just need to develop the skills and patience and dedicate time to it and stuff. Once I do, though, here’s what I want to tackle first: knitting Star Wars inspired hats! These are my 3 favorite fangirl patterns:

R2D2 knit beanie by CarissaKnits. A very awesome (free!) pattern that is somehow made by the telescoping lens thingy on the front.

A Leia knit wig by ansleybleu. This one’s not free—the downloadable pattern PDF costs $7.95 from her Etsy store. It was apparently originally a commission specifically for Carrie Fisher (through one of her friends). It’s basically honeybun earmuffs with a beanie instead of one of those annoying headbands. Oh, and Princess Leia Buns of Hotness!

Finally, the Yoda knit hat, felted for extra coolness, by Sunshyne. The free pattern is for a baby-size head. But by the time I develop mad knitting skillz with the first two projects, I bet I will have the skillz to resize this pattern for an adult noggin. Now that I think about it, though… it would be very cool to wear the knit Leia buns and carry around a baby* in a knit Yoda hat. That sort of cosplay requires a little more, though… maybe a third character… anyone know of a free Han-Solo-in-Carbonite knitting pattern?

*So I guess in addition to mad knitting skillz, I would also need a baby. Or, if you’re following the Star Wars mythology that is expanded in books and such, I would need two babies since [SPOILER] Han and Leia have twins (a boy and a girl, natch). There can’t be two Yodas, though. I cannot think of a good solution to this problem. Oh. Em. Gee. I just did! One of the babies would wear the R2D2 beanie!!! Now that’s a full circle Star Wars geek craft geek-out. If I had a lightsaber, it would be extended.

(Around this time I happened to be experiencing Crystal Quest withdrawals since I grew up in a Mac family. Worms would have been fun for me.)

But check out these awesome little polymer clay Worms and accessories by PlanetJune! Soooo cute! I need to get a copy of the game and see how I like Worms in 2010.

PlanetJune is a very crafty geek chick who also recently created and blogged about a highly detailed polymer clay R2D2. It even has a rotating head. Beautifully crafted genius!

I want to be her friend. Who wouldn’t?

And then there’s the recipe for chocolate ganache-filed brain cupcakes by notsohumblepie in Seattle. “Because it is a well known fact that human brains are filled with chocolate ganache,” she says. Tee hee! They look delicious, and could be easily translated to a zombie-themed fest if the decorative icing were placed on a red velvet cupcake.

If you are in any way geeky, nerdy, or offbeat, you really need to check out her recipes… especially the ones labeled science and weird. They’re all complete with mouthwatering photos. Well, all of the photos are mouthwatering except the petri dish cookies. Having been a biology major at one point in my life, and having a vivid smell memory of petri dishes in the lab, the execution of her design with all their isolated colonies kinda makes me want to hurl. But you go ahead and enjoy!

This photo was taken on my ironing board today in the indirect afternoon light of my living room. I like the way it turned out with the stripey ironing board pattern. Happily, a shiny new high-capacity memory card arrived in the mail this afternoon… so I set up a white sheet of paper on the ironing board to document its arrival. It’s a Class 10! I sort of know what that means!

It also has 16GB capacity so I’ll never need to empty it. Now I can return the 2GB memory card to my point-and-shoot camera where it belongs. I’d like to make a cheap lightbox (like this one, perhaps) for future object shoots.

Periodic Table Quilt

Originally uploaded by fadinghippie

A quilt in the shape of the periodic table! In delightful patchwork! With rainbow colors designating element categories! Flickr user “fadinghippie” is a genius!

I twittered today that I wanted to embroider and frame a periodic table, and my friend John sent me the link to this rainbow piece of nerdy/crafty/geeky delight.

What a lucky person the recipient is. My sister is getting closer to finishing her PhD in neuroscience, and I was just going to get her a subscription to “Over-Educated and Under-Employed” magazine.

Now I’ll feel lame if I don’t do something crafty for her, like paper mache a brain and turn it into a lampshade.

Any other suggestions for an appropriate nerd craft item that I could make and bestow upon her when her Day of Nerdoscience arrives?

Product image yoinked from Monster Crochet

As soon as I learn how to crochet, I’m going to buy this little pattern ($10 to have the Monster Crochet creator email me a PDF) and make wearable pie berets for every day of the week. And then maybe grab some recipes from pieofthemonthclub.org and bake a pie every day of the week! I’ve been pie-ning for a purpose in life like this…. (Um, I just made myself groan from my own pun. That can’t be good. And yet, I’m still not going to edit it out. You’re welcome!)

Speaking of pie, don’t forget that Pi Day is coming up on March 14. I’m going to start planning a party on Friday, which is approximately 3.14 weeks before Pi Day. Hmm… I hope I have enough time to learn how to crochet so that I can greet people at the door with a beret that looks like this:

Photo yoinked from Monster Crochet